thanks to Courtney from Bowdenisms for this guest post.
“Is this the mom’s group?”
She was shy, nervous, as well as almost eclipsed by the gigantic stroller/baby carrier/diaper bag she was having a hard time to navigate between the tables at the grocery store cafe. I presumed there was a infant in that mobile fortress, however it was difficult to tell with all the blankets as well as shades obscuring any type of glimpse of him (her?). There wasn’t a peep from inside the covered wagon, however she was cautious to keep it moving at all times, afraid to upset the motion-induced zen as well as danger a public outcry — or at least a cry –in public.
So when her tentative eyes scanned the room, looking for a risk-free location to land, her deal with posed many more concerns than the one her mouth dared to ask. She asked if we were the mom’s group, however I heard (and saw) more.
I saw me, almost three years ago.
I saw a lady out of her element. A lady whose familiar world had been rocked. A lady who was unaccustomed to feeling this out of control, this overwhelmed, as well as this excruciatingly exhausted.
She asked if we were the mom’s group, however she was truly asking: Are you my people? will you comprehend me? will you judge me? Are you so extremely tired too?
I wished to nod knowingly, as well as listen to her story, as well as hug her, as well as hold her infant while she ran house for a shower as well as a quick nap (ok, as well far…but perhaps at least long sufficient for her to drink a coffee utilizing two hands). I wished to somehow let her understand that I saw her, as well as heard her, as well as I got her. since that’s what rookie moms truly want. A shower, yes. A coffee, yes. however really…rookie moms want to feel not crazy.
So while my 2.89 year old stayed glued to seat (not literally, to my slight chagrin) watching the cafe TV, as well as my 1.25 year old did her finest to integrate the delicate arts of break-dancing as well as pretzel eating…I informed her that sadly, no, we were not her moms group. however we’d assist her discover them, as well as if that failed, she was more than welcome to plop down next to us for a bagel as well as a break.
And I realized that somehow, at some point in the motherhood game, I had crossed over from Rookie to Veteran. I was now somebody people look to for advice. somebody who seemingly has at least some wisdom to offer. I’m no longer the self-conscious worrier, seeking to prevent catastrophe as well as present an picture of togetherness. much more commonly these days, I’m the loud as well as proud mess, thankful for any type of additional hands to wrangle my similarly untidy (and impressively loud) children. When I’m out as well as about as well as the madness ensues (as it often does) I don’t lower my eyes, hoping to prevent sideways glances- I volunteer a conspiratorial eyeroll because: kids. What can ya do?
But I vividly keep in mind those Rookie days….being the unsure one, wandering around the cafe hoping to discover a circle to surround me in my strange new life. as well as I accept that memory, as well as the new woman walking in my footsteps. since I may not be in your moms’ group…but I am a mom- so I’ll always be in your corner.
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Courtney is the mom of two wild animals disguised as small blonde girls…she blogs about their (mis)adventures on her blog Bowdenisms. She’s similarly passionate about building authentic neighborhood as well as enjoying a nice Coke slushie. bonus points for both at the exact same time. discover @Bowdenisms on Facebook, Twitter, or (her extremely fav:) Instagram.